Marriage is often not easy. A successful marriage takes work, dedication, sacrifice, and compromise. But in some marriages, especially when serious problems arise or a crisis hits, you may feel you are the one who has to save marriage alone. This is particularly true if you have a spouse who has emotionally “checked out” or who is unwilling to communicate or work on the problems.
That being said, no matter what the situation the pressure really is on you to save marriage alone. The reason for this is twofold:
1) The only person in the marriage you have the power to change is you. You simply cannot change another person, even your spouse, no matter how much you want to.
2) If you make changes you spouse will inevitably change also. The reason for this is because when you change, the relationship dynamics change. This will require your spouse to adjust in one way or the other.
If you make changes wisely and carefully, your spouse may end up making some very positive changes also, and it will no longer feel like you had to save marriage alone after all.
Whenever there is a conflict in a relationship of any kind, the best thing you can do is ask yourself how you may be contributing. Relationship problems are rarely due to just one person. For example, if your spouse is treating you badly, you must ask yourself why it’s happening. Maybe your spouse really is a jerk, but if this has been going on a long time, it is because you are allowing it.
Dr. Phil, who has helped thousands of people in the course of his career, has stated it very well: “We teach people how to treat us”. That is a powerful truth. If you need to save marriage alone you must ask yourself what things you are doing that have taught your spouse to react to you or treat you in certain ways.
If you feel you are unworthy of being treated with respect, then people are often not going to treat you with respect. Somewhere along the way you have given your spouse the message that it is okay to treat you badly. Even if you have gotten upset, told him you didn’t like it, cried, or even thrown things at him, the fact that it continues to happen is because in one way or another, you are allowing it.
Now, this doesn’t mean you are the cause of your spouse’s bad behavior in any way. He is responsible for his actions. You are only responsible for your reaction as well as your attitude. But if you desire to save marriage alone, you must begin making changes in your reaction and / or your attitude. If what you’ve been doing up until now hasn’t worked, then to continue doing the same thing is futile. You need to do something different.
You have much more power to save marriage alone than you probably realize. By changing your attitudes, behaviors and reactions in the relationship, you will find that those changes will impact your marriage. The trick is in determining which ones will bring about the positive changes you desire. It may be that you need to seek the help of a skilled therapist to determine what changes will be the most beneficial. But there is hope, even when you must save marriage alone, as long as you are willing to make some changes first.
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By senangin.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Problems with Marriage
If you are experiencing problems with marriage, trust me, you are not alone. That being said, you may feel alone as you try to figure out the real issues and find a way to resolve them. And in many situations, that is easier said than done. But it is not impossible.
Many problems with marriage begin with unrealistic expectations on the part of one or both partners. This is particularly typical of people who get married when they are quite young or have not had previous long-term relationships. Unrealistic expectations inevitably lead to frustration, and can also lead to anger and disappointment. Perhaps some of the challenges facing your marriage are due to impossible expectations about the relationship or your partner. Let’s look at a few unrealistic myths which can lead to problems with marriage…
Hollywood Romance
Hollywood is the great perpetuator of romantic fantasy. After all, that’s what sells. Wouldn’t it be great if all marriages were as perfect or as exciting as they are often portrayed on television or in the movies? After all, doesn’t everyone’s husband leave a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom, where there are at least 100 candles burning and another 5 dozen rose’s worth of petals strewn on the bed? (Seriously, where does anyone store that many candles?)
This fantasy idea that it should always be incredibly romantic can create problems with marriage. The reality is quite different. This doesn’t mean the romance has to end after “I do”, but it probably isn’t going to be quite as glamorous or extreme as it is in the movies.
Perfect Partner
It can be a brutal wake-up call when you realize one morning that the person you married isn’t as perfect as you thought. People who get married without really taking the time to know each other are particularly vulnerable to the problems with marriage which arise when they finally see the other person, warts and all, and realize that they have all sorts of flaws and short-comings.
Most people put their best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. And some can hide their faults for quite a long time. To avoid problems with marriage like this really requires that you take the relationship slowly and don’t put your significant other on a pedestal. He or she will fall off at some point. You can bet on it.
Happily Ever After
Fairy tales are great for kids, but at some point, we have to recognize them for what they are: fantasy. While Cinderella and Prince Charming blissfully disappeared into the castle at the end of the story, we never got to see what happened inside those towering walls a few years down the road. No doubt a glass slipper or two got shattered when one of them was upset!
Marriage is not always happy and peaceful. That would be great but it is not reality. Conflict is going to occur. You are not going to agree on everything and in fact, you may find that you disagree on several things. That’s okay, if you are mature enough to recognize and appreciate that you are two separate individuals with different perspectives, values, preferences, needs and feelings. Once you can accept that, your problems with marriage will be a lot less challenging.
Don’t lose heart if you are experiencing problems with marriage. Check your expectations to see if perhaps they need to be altered a bit. Many couples find that by changing their expectations so that they are better aligned with reality, many problems will subside. If they don’t, then it is time to look deeper. But most problems can be overcome if both of you are willing to put in the effort.
For more info and tip,just click link below:
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By senangin.
Many problems with marriage begin with unrealistic expectations on the part of one or both partners. This is particularly typical of people who get married when they are quite young or have not had previous long-term relationships. Unrealistic expectations inevitably lead to frustration, and can also lead to anger and disappointment. Perhaps some of the challenges facing your marriage are due to impossible expectations about the relationship or your partner. Let’s look at a few unrealistic myths which can lead to problems with marriage…
Hollywood Romance
Hollywood is the great perpetuator of romantic fantasy. After all, that’s what sells. Wouldn’t it be great if all marriages were as perfect or as exciting as they are often portrayed on television or in the movies? After all, doesn’t everyone’s husband leave a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom, where there are at least 100 candles burning and another 5 dozen rose’s worth of petals strewn on the bed? (Seriously, where does anyone store that many candles?)
This fantasy idea that it should always be incredibly romantic can create problems with marriage. The reality is quite different. This doesn’t mean the romance has to end after “I do”, but it probably isn’t going to be quite as glamorous or extreme as it is in the movies.
Perfect Partner
It can be a brutal wake-up call when you realize one morning that the person you married isn’t as perfect as you thought. People who get married without really taking the time to know each other are particularly vulnerable to the problems with marriage which arise when they finally see the other person, warts and all, and realize that they have all sorts of flaws and short-comings.
Most people put their best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. And some can hide their faults for quite a long time. To avoid problems with marriage like this really requires that you take the relationship slowly and don’t put your significant other on a pedestal. He or she will fall off at some point. You can bet on it.
Happily Ever After
Fairy tales are great for kids, but at some point, we have to recognize them for what they are: fantasy. While Cinderella and Prince Charming blissfully disappeared into the castle at the end of the story, we never got to see what happened inside those towering walls a few years down the road. No doubt a glass slipper or two got shattered when one of them was upset!
Marriage is not always happy and peaceful. That would be great but it is not reality. Conflict is going to occur. You are not going to agree on everything and in fact, you may find that you disagree on several things. That’s okay, if you are mature enough to recognize and appreciate that you are two separate individuals with different perspectives, values, preferences, needs and feelings. Once you can accept that, your problems with marriage will be a lot less challenging.
Don’t lose heart if you are experiencing problems with marriage. Check your expectations to see if perhaps they need to be altered a bit. Many couples find that by changing their expectations so that they are better aligned with reality, many problems will subside. If they don’t, then it is time to look deeper. But most problems can be overcome if both of you are willing to put in the effort.
For more info and tip,just click link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
By senangin.
Marriage in Crisis
You probably never thought it would happen to you, but suddenly you find your marriage in crisis. You and your spouse are fighting a lot, or one of you has been unfaithful, or perhaps you have just simply grown distant over the years. Regardless of the reason, you may be trying to decide what your options are. You may be anxious, scared, angry, hurt or just feeling very alone. So let’s look at some options if when your marriage in crisis feels a bit overwhelming.
Take some time apart
For some people, when they are experiencing marriage problems, taking some time apart can give them an opportunity to gain much needed perspective. When you are right in the thick of an emotionally charged situation, you may be too close to things to come up with effective solutions. A brief separation can be beneficial in order to get your bearings and think through the best way to handle your marriage in crisis.
Also, during this time apart you can determine if you really want to stay in your marriage or not. This is a very difficult decision for many people and should not be made without a lot of thought. Taking time apart can give you the space your need to think it through without the day to day pressures at home which often accompany a marriage in crisis.
Get into therapy
Going to a therapist can be very helpful when a marriage in crisis is turning your life upside down. Therapy will not only provide you with a safe place to talk openly and freely, it will provide you an opportunity to problem solve with someone who is neutral and objective with regards to your situation. Family and friends may be willing to listen and give advice, but usually they will be biased in one way or the other, and won’t be objective like a therapist.
Put your cards on the table with your spouse
Often when a marriage has reached a crisis point, one or both partners is unable or unwilling to take the risk of saying what they really want and feel. Instead you are often both guarded or defensive as you try to navigate your way through what feels like an emotional minefield. But if one of you takes the risk of truly putting your cards on the table, it may be the catalyst for much needed open conversations. That being said, it may backfire also, and that is what makes it particularly uncomfortable for most people. Only you can decide if the risk is worth it, and how you think your partner may respond if you try.
File for divorce
Another option when experiencing a marriage in crisis is to throw in the towel and file for divorce. If the crisis has been going on for a long time and shows little hope for resolution, this may be the best option. Only you can decide if this is the best route for you. But it definitely should not be done hastily, as the emotional and financial cost of divorce is often very high.
Determine what changes you can make to improve your marriage
With a marriage in crisis the only person you can change is you. You can’t change your spouse even though you may feel that is the best solution! But the person you can change is you. Marriage problems are rarely, if ever, due to one person. It takes two to tango and two to create problems. If you start making some positive changes your spouse will inevitably have to make some changes also. Your spouse may not change as you would like, but if you make positive changes you can hold your head high knowing that you did, and leave the marriage with more dignity if it still doesn’t work out in the end.
Only you can decide the best choice for you when a marriage in crisis is taking a toll on your emotional wellbeing. Consider these options and trust your heart. And know that many couples do find a way to get back on track. Hopefully you will too!
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By senangin.
Take some time apart
For some people, when they are experiencing marriage problems, taking some time apart can give them an opportunity to gain much needed perspective. When you are right in the thick of an emotionally charged situation, you may be too close to things to come up with effective solutions. A brief separation can be beneficial in order to get your bearings and think through the best way to handle your marriage in crisis.
Also, during this time apart you can determine if you really want to stay in your marriage or not. This is a very difficult decision for many people and should not be made without a lot of thought. Taking time apart can give you the space your need to think it through without the day to day pressures at home which often accompany a marriage in crisis.
Get into therapy
Going to a therapist can be very helpful when a marriage in crisis is turning your life upside down. Therapy will not only provide you with a safe place to talk openly and freely, it will provide you an opportunity to problem solve with someone who is neutral and objective with regards to your situation. Family and friends may be willing to listen and give advice, but usually they will be biased in one way or the other, and won’t be objective like a therapist.
Put your cards on the table with your spouse
Often when a marriage has reached a crisis point, one or both partners is unable or unwilling to take the risk of saying what they really want and feel. Instead you are often both guarded or defensive as you try to navigate your way through what feels like an emotional minefield. But if one of you takes the risk of truly putting your cards on the table, it may be the catalyst for much needed open conversations. That being said, it may backfire also, and that is what makes it particularly uncomfortable for most people. Only you can decide if the risk is worth it, and how you think your partner may respond if you try.
File for divorce
Another option when experiencing a marriage in crisis is to throw in the towel and file for divorce. If the crisis has been going on for a long time and shows little hope for resolution, this may be the best option. Only you can decide if this is the best route for you. But it definitely should not be done hastily, as the emotional and financial cost of divorce is often very high.
Determine what changes you can make to improve your marriage
With a marriage in crisis the only person you can change is you. You can’t change your spouse even though you may feel that is the best solution! But the person you can change is you. Marriage problems are rarely, if ever, due to one person. It takes two to tango and two to create problems. If you start making some positive changes your spouse will inevitably have to make some changes also. Your spouse may not change as you would like, but if you make positive changes you can hold your head high knowing that you did, and leave the marriage with more dignity if it still doesn’t work out in the end.
Only you can decide the best choice for you when a marriage in crisis is taking a toll on your emotional wellbeing. Consider these options and trust your heart. And know that many couples do find a way to get back on track. Hopefully you will too!
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By senangin.
Marriage Counseling Therapy
Marriage can be wonderful and complicated; happy and sad; exciting and mundane. Rarely is it “smooth sailing” throughout its course, which is why many couples seek out marriage counseling. Therapy can be very beneficial if your marriage is hitting some rough seas. With a qualified therapist you and your spouse can find new ways to navigate the course of your marriage more effectively. Conflict will never disappear altogether, as you are both human. But it can be minimized at least to some degree so your marriage stays intact.
There are many different issues which may come to the surface if you and your spouse decide to go to marriage counseling. Therapy for couples will help you look at things in a new light, consider unhealthy patterns, and find ways to communicate better. Sometimes things may get worse before they get better as you face tough issues and open up wounds which have never really healed. But these wounds must be opened and dealt with if things are to get better in your marriage.
In marriage counseling, therapy is like cleaning out the infected wound so it can finally heal once and for all. It will hurt at first, but it is well worth it in the long run. A skillful therapist will work with you to find the best ways to manage the pain as you go through the process.
One of the key issues that often comes up is difficulty letting go of the past. Hanging on to old hurts, harboring resentment, and refusing to forgive will keep you stuck. Letting go of the past is difficult for a lot of people, but it is essential for the sake of your marriage and for you to make progress in the course of your marriage counseling. Therapy won’t fix you, but it can help you to get “unstuck” and find a way to let go.
Holding on to the past is destructive to a relationship. If either you or your spouse are doing this then it is going to show up in various ways in your relationship. What often happens is that whenever there is a conflict, one of you brings up the past and uses it as ammunition against the other. While it may give you a sense of leverage or power in the moment, it keeps you both stuck.
Dredging up past wrongs is like pulling a scab off a sore and letting it bleed all over again. Needless to say, it is a destructive behavior which must be addressed in your marriage counseling. Therapy can be the safe place to address this once and for all, and to start working towards letting it go.
If you are the spouse whose past offense is frequently thrown back in your face, you no doubt know the sting and guilt that accompany such painful reminders. We all make mistakes. And we all desire forgiveness. It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who just can’t let something go.
Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others and let go when we have experienced real forgiveness ourselves. But when you haven’t, and it is hurting your marriage, then you may really benefit from marriage counseling. Therapy is much less costly than a divorce. And if you give it a chance, you may find that you and your spouse can finally heal the wounds and have a stronger marriage than ever!
For more info and tip,just follow the link below:
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By senangin.
There are many different issues which may come to the surface if you and your spouse decide to go to marriage counseling. Therapy for couples will help you look at things in a new light, consider unhealthy patterns, and find ways to communicate better. Sometimes things may get worse before they get better as you face tough issues and open up wounds which have never really healed. But these wounds must be opened and dealt with if things are to get better in your marriage.
In marriage counseling, therapy is like cleaning out the infected wound so it can finally heal once and for all. It will hurt at first, but it is well worth it in the long run. A skillful therapist will work with you to find the best ways to manage the pain as you go through the process.
One of the key issues that often comes up is difficulty letting go of the past. Hanging on to old hurts, harboring resentment, and refusing to forgive will keep you stuck. Letting go of the past is difficult for a lot of people, but it is essential for the sake of your marriage and for you to make progress in the course of your marriage counseling. Therapy won’t fix you, but it can help you to get “unstuck” and find a way to let go.
Holding on to the past is destructive to a relationship. If either you or your spouse are doing this then it is going to show up in various ways in your relationship. What often happens is that whenever there is a conflict, one of you brings up the past and uses it as ammunition against the other. While it may give you a sense of leverage or power in the moment, it keeps you both stuck.
Dredging up past wrongs is like pulling a scab off a sore and letting it bleed all over again. Needless to say, it is a destructive behavior which must be addressed in your marriage counseling. Therapy can be the safe place to address this once and for all, and to start working towards letting it go.
If you are the spouse whose past offense is frequently thrown back in your face, you no doubt know the sting and guilt that accompany such painful reminders. We all make mistakes. And we all desire forgiveness. It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who just can’t let something go.
Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others and let go when we have experienced real forgiveness ourselves. But when you haven’t, and it is hurting your marriage, then you may really benefit from marriage counseling. Therapy is much less costly than a divorce. And if you give it a chance, you may find that you and your spouse can finally heal the wounds and have a stronger marriage than ever!
For more info and tip,just follow the link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
By senangin.
How to Save a Marriage
You probably never thought it would happen, but you found yourself having an affair. You never meant for it to happen, but it did. And now you are wondering how to save a marriage after breaking your vows. You love your spouse and you know it is going to be devastating to her (or him). But many couples do get past this. And the first place to start is admitting to it. If you don’t and she finds out from someone else, it will definitely be much worse.
Before you do tell your spouse about the affair, you need to first be honest with yourself as to why it occurred. Sometimes the real reason isn’t so obvious. Your spouse is certainly going to want to know why, and part of knowing how to save a marriage is determining why you (and your marriage) were vulnerable in the first place.
When you talk to your spouse, the more prepared you are to truthfully answer this question of “why”, the more able you will be to address the underlying issues. If you don’t answer it honestly, or if your spouse senses in any way that you are not, then that will only make things worse. So really take the time to try to understand the real reasons first. Honesty and openness in this situation will go a long way when it comes to how to save a marriage.
Something else you need to consider before talking to your spouse, is that if you wait for the perfect time, it will never come. On the other hand, you also want to choose a time when she is not harried, or when you are not likely to be interrupted. Also, do not tell her when others are within ear shot. This is very inconsiderate and disrespectful, and definitely not a good plan with regards to how to save a marriage! Do this privately, when the two of you are alone.
When you do finally have this conversation, you need to be straightforward. And, if you really want to do what’s best in terms of how to save a marriage after this kind of betrayal, you need to take fully responsibility for your actions. Don’t in any way try to downplay just how serious an affair is. By owning up to what you did, you at least show that you care.
Last of all, when it comes to how to save a marriage, particularly after something as serious as an affair, you must make every effort to try to understand the impact this may have on your spouse. You have broken your vows and shattered trust. She is likely going to be angry and hurt for awhile, and may withdraw from you or even need some time apart from you. The more accepting and supportive you are of her needs, the better. You will need to show her that you are truly sorry in order to start rebuilding the relationship.
When it comes to how to save a marriage after an affair, there is no easy answer. But if you use the above as a guide, you at least have a chance. There will be much work ahead, but many marriages do survive, and some become stronger as a result.
For more info and tip,just follow the link below:
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By senangin.
Before you do tell your spouse about the affair, you need to first be honest with yourself as to why it occurred. Sometimes the real reason isn’t so obvious. Your spouse is certainly going to want to know why, and part of knowing how to save a marriage is determining why you (and your marriage) were vulnerable in the first place.
When you talk to your spouse, the more prepared you are to truthfully answer this question of “why”, the more able you will be to address the underlying issues. If you don’t answer it honestly, or if your spouse senses in any way that you are not, then that will only make things worse. So really take the time to try to understand the real reasons first. Honesty and openness in this situation will go a long way when it comes to how to save a marriage.
Something else you need to consider before talking to your spouse, is that if you wait for the perfect time, it will never come. On the other hand, you also want to choose a time when she is not harried, or when you are not likely to be interrupted. Also, do not tell her when others are within ear shot. This is very inconsiderate and disrespectful, and definitely not a good plan with regards to how to save a marriage! Do this privately, when the two of you are alone.
When you do finally have this conversation, you need to be straightforward. And, if you really want to do what’s best in terms of how to save a marriage after this kind of betrayal, you need to take fully responsibility for your actions. Don’t in any way try to downplay just how serious an affair is. By owning up to what you did, you at least show that you care.
Last of all, when it comes to how to save a marriage, particularly after something as serious as an affair, you must make every effort to try to understand the impact this may have on your spouse. You have broken your vows and shattered trust. She is likely going to be angry and hurt for awhile, and may withdraw from you or even need some time apart from you. The more accepting and supportive you are of her needs, the better. You will need to show her that you are truly sorry in order to start rebuilding the relationship.
When it comes to how to save a marriage after an affair, there is no easy answer. But if you use the above as a guide, you at least have a chance. There will be much work ahead, but many marriages do survive, and some become stronger as a result.
For more info and tip,just follow the link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
By senangin.
Family and Marriage Therapy Programs
If you are looking for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may want to look to see if any colleges or universities in your area offer family and marriage therapy programs.
Therapy can be very expensive when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples don’t have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.
These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.
The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.
Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.
Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.
If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you don’t think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years.
Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isn’t it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.
For more info and tip,just follow the link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
By senangin.
Therapy can be very expensive when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples don’t have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.
These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.
The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.
Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.
Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.
If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you don’t think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years.
Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isn’t it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.
For more info and tip,just follow the link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
By senangin.
Counseling for Marriage
Many couples reach a point in their marriage when they feel they are at an impasse. They may have tried to overcome a serious problem or crisis on their own, and realized over time that perhaps getting counseling for marriage problems they are experiencing is a better approach. And while counseling won’t help every marriage, it does help many couples every day. For some marriages, it has not only helped, it has kept the couple from ending up in divorce court.
So, how do you determine if marriage counseling is something you and your spouse should pursue? You may be thinking that there is no way you want to air your dirty laundry in front of a total stranger, no matter how difficult things are right now. You may also be feeling that counseling for marriage is far too expensive. This article will address these two frequent concerns and provide you with some things to consider if you are trying to decide whether to seek professional help for your situation.
I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.
This is a common objection with which many people struggle when the idea of counseling for marriage is being considered. What you need to realize is that one of the reasons marital therapy can be very helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position.
If you have tried to talk to or seek advice from family or friends, you have probably found that they are too close to the situation to be helpful. They may have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to keep perspective regarding your situation. This in turn will color any advice they may try to offer. In some cases, talking to family members or close friends can make the situation even worse.
This is one reason why counseling for marriage can be very helpful. Once you start developing a rapport with the therapist, you will likely appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides and who can look at your situation from a fresh perspective.
Counseling is too expensive.
Therapy does cost money. You are paying for a highly trained professional to provide a valuable service. However, you need to consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be. For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, counseling for marriage is usually much less expensive – in fact, often by thousands of dollars. When you look at it like this you may reconsider the objection that you can’t afford it. And there may be some options if finances are truly an issue.
In many cities there are clinics which offer counseling services for a reduced fee either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision. Also, you don’t necessarily have to go weekly. You may be able to go every other week, which will make counseling for marriage more affordable for you as you reduce the overall monthly cost by spreading the appointments out a bit.
Both of these objections to counseling for marriage are very common. You are not alone if they have crossed your mind. But if your marriage has reached a crisis point hopefully you will carefully weigh the alternatives if you do not get some help.
For more info and tip,follow link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
Truth by senangin.
So, how do you determine if marriage counseling is something you and your spouse should pursue? You may be thinking that there is no way you want to air your dirty laundry in front of a total stranger, no matter how difficult things are right now. You may also be feeling that counseling for marriage is far too expensive. This article will address these two frequent concerns and provide you with some things to consider if you are trying to decide whether to seek professional help for your situation.
I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.
This is a common objection with which many people struggle when the idea of counseling for marriage is being considered. What you need to realize is that one of the reasons marital therapy can be very helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position.
If you have tried to talk to or seek advice from family or friends, you have probably found that they are too close to the situation to be helpful. They may have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to keep perspective regarding your situation. This in turn will color any advice they may try to offer. In some cases, talking to family members or close friends can make the situation even worse.
This is one reason why counseling for marriage can be very helpful. Once you start developing a rapport with the therapist, you will likely appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides and who can look at your situation from a fresh perspective.
Counseling is too expensive.
Therapy does cost money. You are paying for a highly trained professional to provide a valuable service. However, you need to consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be. For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, counseling for marriage is usually much less expensive – in fact, often by thousands of dollars. When you look at it like this you may reconsider the objection that you can’t afford it. And there may be some options if finances are truly an issue.
In many cities there are clinics which offer counseling services for a reduced fee either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision. Also, you don’t necessarily have to go weekly. You may be able to go every other week, which will make counseling for marriage more affordable for you as you reduce the overall monthly cost by spreading the appointments out a bit.
Both of these objections to counseling for marriage are very common. You are not alone if they have crossed your mind. But if your marriage has reached a crisis point hopefully you will carefully weigh the alternatives if you do not get some help.
For more info and tip,follow link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
Truth by senangin.
Common Marriage Problems
For many couples, there are common marriage problems which often start to creep into the relationship over time. If you are feeling that your marriage isn’t what it should be, or what you thought it would be when you first walked down the aisle, you are not alone. Millions of couples grapple with relationship issues, often feeling that the problems are unique to their relationship. This can lead to feelings of embarrassment and / or loneliness, when it doesn’t need to.
So let’s take a look at three common marriage problems which many couples find themselves facing. All of these can start out seeming fairly minor, but if they continue over a long time and aren’t dealt with, they can have a very negative impact on a marriage.
Feeling like you have “fallen out of love” with each other
When you were first dating your spouse, and probably even when you stood in front of your family and friends and said your vows, you felt “head over heels in love” with each other. For most couples, that giddy feeling doesn’t last over the years. In fact, for many, once the reality of day to day married life sinks in it starts to fade. Your lives become one of routine, which is perfectly normal. The demands of your work or careers, children and mortgages can take up all of your time and energy. And if you are like some couples, you basically start living like roommates and nothing more. While that scenario is fairly common, marriage problems like this can eventually lead to an affair or a divorce.
Taking each other for granted
Another one of the most common marriage problems is that many couples start taking each other for granted. To some degree, it is human nature to take for granted that which is always there. But in relationships, this can lead to a slow, simmering resentment for one or both of you. Everyone longs to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated. After all, that was a big part of the reason you got married in the first place. No one feels loved when they are taken for granted. When it reaches the point of devaluing each other and failing to regard the relationship as sacred or special, it can be very damaging. Sadly, what often happens is that you don’t even realize just how serious it is until the other person is gone.
Failure to really talk to each other
Poor communication or the failure to really talk to each other is probably one of the most common marriage problems many couples face. Learning to communicate well is a skill many people lack. Others have the skill and may be great communicators in their career, but struggle with communicating with their spouse. This is particularly true if one or both of you grew up in a home where poor communication was the norm. You talk superficially but avoid discussing problems or issues as they arise. Some people just find it easier to avoid any conflict. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work and in time will take a toll on your relationship if something doesn’t change.
If you and your spouse are struggling with any one of these common marriage problems, there is hope. The first step is always acknowledging the problem. The sooner you recognize the problem and take action though, the better!
To find more tip..follow link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
Truth by senangin.
So let’s take a look at three common marriage problems which many couples find themselves facing. All of these can start out seeming fairly minor, but if they continue over a long time and aren’t dealt with, they can have a very negative impact on a marriage.
Feeling like you have “fallen out of love” with each other
When you were first dating your spouse, and probably even when you stood in front of your family and friends and said your vows, you felt “head over heels in love” with each other. For most couples, that giddy feeling doesn’t last over the years. In fact, for many, once the reality of day to day married life sinks in it starts to fade. Your lives become one of routine, which is perfectly normal. The demands of your work or careers, children and mortgages can take up all of your time and energy. And if you are like some couples, you basically start living like roommates and nothing more. While that scenario is fairly common, marriage problems like this can eventually lead to an affair or a divorce.
Taking each other for granted
Another one of the most common marriage problems is that many couples start taking each other for granted. To some degree, it is human nature to take for granted that which is always there. But in relationships, this can lead to a slow, simmering resentment for one or both of you. Everyone longs to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated. After all, that was a big part of the reason you got married in the first place. No one feels loved when they are taken for granted. When it reaches the point of devaluing each other and failing to regard the relationship as sacred or special, it can be very damaging. Sadly, what often happens is that you don’t even realize just how serious it is until the other person is gone.
Failure to really talk to each other
Poor communication or the failure to really talk to each other is probably one of the most common marriage problems many couples face. Learning to communicate well is a skill many people lack. Others have the skill and may be great communicators in their career, but struggle with communicating with their spouse. This is particularly true if one or both of you grew up in a home where poor communication was the norm. You talk superficially but avoid discussing problems or issues as they arise. Some people just find it easier to avoid any conflict. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work and in time will take a toll on your relationship if something doesn’t change.
If you and your spouse are struggling with any one of these common marriage problems, there is hope. The first step is always acknowledging the problem. The sooner you recognize the problem and take action though, the better!
To find more tip..follow link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/
Truth by senangin.
Stop Your Divorce
When married couples find themselves in a relationship crisis, the possibility of divorce often starts coming up more and more frequently. Certainly divorce will give you the freedom to go your separate ways and be done with the conflict. But if you truly desire to stop your divorce, there are several strategies you can begin implementing right now which may turn your relationship around. In fact, your spouse will never know what hit him!
Granted, these strategies take a little work. And most of the work, if you want to stop your divorce, is yours to do. Don’t put the onus on your spouse to change. In fact, if you try following these strategies, your spouse will likely be surprised and start changing in response to you. Keep in mind, that these will feel very counter-intuitive to you initially. They will likely be the very opposite of how you have been behaving. So be prepared to try on some new behaviors which will help you stop your divorce in its tracks!
The first thing you need to do is stop complaining about or criticizing anything about your spouse or your marriage. Every time you engage in that sort of behavior, you just push your spouse further away and give him more reason to want to go through with the divorce. So, work hard to catch yourself when you want to make a critical or negative remark if your goal is to stop your divorce.
Instead, take an unusually agreeable stance. If your spouse makes a critical comment or complains, agree with him. For example, if he says something like, “all we ever do is fight”, rather than try to convince him that that isn’t true, (and thus be letting him know how wrong he is) agrees with it. You might say (and you must be sincere), “you are right….we do fight a lot.” And once you have agreed, drop it. Don’t say anything else. Don’t give in to your urge to defend yourself or the marriage. Just agree.
Second, don’t pressure your spouse in any way. When people are having marriage problems, it is not uncommon for one spouse to be pressuring the other to make changes. If you want to stop your divorce, this is a huge mistake.
Whenever you pressure someone, you not only put them on the defense, you trigger their resistance. No one likes to feel pressured, so the natural tendency is to resist it. Stop yourself whenever you feel the urge to pressure your spouse to work on the marriage, make changes, etc.
Third, avoid having serious conversations. Those can do more harm than good in a fragile relationship. The reasons they can be so damaging is because they create undue pressure in the relationship. Again, pressure will backfire if your goal is to stop your divorce.
Last, keep things light hearted, casual, and upbeat. In other words, cliché as this may sound, “go with the flow”. So many problems arise when we try to fight against a situation. By allowing it and no longer fighting it, it frees up the resistance and will often lead to things turning themselves around. And it takes far less energy to go with the flow than against it.
Practice doing these things and you will be much more likely to stop your divorce. Keep in mind, you must do them consistently. If you slip back into old habits of criticizing, pressuring or complaining, you will just shift things back to where they were. But keep doing these, and it will give your marriage the best chance of working out after all.
To find more tip,follow the link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=K7M9FW7G
Truth by senangin.
Granted, these strategies take a little work. And most of the work, if you want to stop your divorce, is yours to do. Don’t put the onus on your spouse to change. In fact, if you try following these strategies, your spouse will likely be surprised and start changing in response to you. Keep in mind, that these will feel very counter-intuitive to you initially. They will likely be the very opposite of how you have been behaving. So be prepared to try on some new behaviors which will help you stop your divorce in its tracks!
The first thing you need to do is stop complaining about or criticizing anything about your spouse or your marriage. Every time you engage in that sort of behavior, you just push your spouse further away and give him more reason to want to go through with the divorce. So, work hard to catch yourself when you want to make a critical or negative remark if your goal is to stop your divorce.
Instead, take an unusually agreeable stance. If your spouse makes a critical comment or complains, agree with him. For example, if he says something like, “all we ever do is fight”, rather than try to convince him that that isn’t true, (and thus be letting him know how wrong he is) agrees with it. You might say (and you must be sincere), “you are right….we do fight a lot.” And once you have agreed, drop it. Don’t say anything else. Don’t give in to your urge to defend yourself or the marriage. Just agree.
Second, don’t pressure your spouse in any way. When people are having marriage problems, it is not uncommon for one spouse to be pressuring the other to make changes. If you want to stop your divorce, this is a huge mistake.
Whenever you pressure someone, you not only put them on the defense, you trigger their resistance. No one likes to feel pressured, so the natural tendency is to resist it. Stop yourself whenever you feel the urge to pressure your spouse to work on the marriage, make changes, etc.
Third, avoid having serious conversations. Those can do more harm than good in a fragile relationship. The reasons they can be so damaging is because they create undue pressure in the relationship. Again, pressure will backfire if your goal is to stop your divorce.
Last, keep things light hearted, casual, and upbeat. In other words, cliché as this may sound, “go with the flow”. So many problems arise when we try to fight against a situation. By allowing it and no longer fighting it, it frees up the resistance and will often lead to things turning themselves around. And it takes far less energy to go with the flow than against it.
Practice doing these things and you will be much more likely to stop your divorce. Keep in mind, you must do them consistently. If you slip back into old habits of criticizing, pressuring or complaining, you will just shift things back to where they were. But keep doing these, and it will give your marriage the best chance of working out after all.
To find more tip,follow the link below:
http://38a1fmtcj9jez-9qjhpljct6dc.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=K7M9FW7G
Truth by senangin.
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